I Love You
by Demia
Summary: When Mistoffelees falls in love, his life is thrown into chaos. Rated for character death.


Title: I Love You

Rating: Pg-13

Warnings: Character death, Slash

A/N: This is the spawn of insomnia and sugar. It sucks but who knows? Someone might like it.

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"I tear my heart open  
I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And our scars reminds us  
That the past is real  
I tear my heart open  
Just to feel"

-Papa Roach

"Scars"

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Who would have thought? Me in love. Innocent little Mistoffelees: The quiet little kitten in the corner. But that's not the surprising part. It's who I'm in love with. If Jenny or Jelly ever found out they'd shun me. Because I'm in love with the Rum Tum Tugger. The tom that raised me.  
I know it sounds weird but he raised me, taught me everything I know, and even tried to teach me how to get a queen.

Who would ever want to date a queen? They're all so annoying. Well, all but one but she's my best friend.

But the worst thing is being in love. It's depressing. Always has been. You meet a nice a nice tom and get to know him, See him from both sides. Then you get dizzy and flustered around them. You think life can't get any better. Then, you realize that they won't love you. They can't. Especially when its me.

I'm not good for anything except magic. I don't think anyone would care if I died right now. They'd miss the magic, not me. Never me.

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I decided to leave my pipe. Ha why'd I even bother? Oh yeah... I wanted to talk to Demeter. Sometimes it seems like she's my only friend. Just like Tugger used to be. Sigh I keep walking and run into something fuzzy.

"Hi Misto."

"Whatever. Hi Tugger."

"Geez, what got into you?"

"Nothing. I'm just... It's just ... never mind. Just depressed."

"You okay?"

"No. And I probably won't ever be again."

"Mist...Misto, buddy. Don't do something you'll regret." He pulled me into a hug.

"Don't touch me. Please, Please don't touch me."

"Sorry."

"I've already done something. And it can never be undone." I felt my eyes water and I ran, far and fast, away.

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"Demi? Has anyone seen Demeter?"

"I'm right here dear."

"Hi Demi."

"Hi Mistoffelees. How are you?"

"I'm depressed."

"Why? You can tell me."

"I'm in love with someone."

"That's so sweet. Why does that make you depressed?"

"Because its a guy."

"You mean you're gay? Um..."

"Yeah."

"Wow I never knew that."

"He'll never love me back."

"Why not. I mean you never know."

"Its because its Tugger. He flirts with queens. There's no way he'll like me. "

"Tugger. He might not be gay but he might be Bi. You just have to give it a chance. You never know."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Want me to talk to him for you?"

"I think I should probably talk to him myself."

"Okay. If you need anything just let me know. If you want I could sit in a tree and if you get in trouble you could tug at your ear and I could help you out."

"No thanks."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Well here he comes. I'm gonna jet."

"Wait! What should I tell him?"

"I don't know. Speak your heart. Just tell him what your heart is saying."

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Tugger walked around the corner followed by his groupies. Ugh... I hate them.

"Um...Tugger?"

"Yeah."

"Can I talk to you ... alone?"

"Sure buddy."

"Follow me." I led him into the pipe. "Okay."

"Why all the secrecy?"

"Because I don't want anyone else to find out."

"What did you want to say?"

"Promise me you won't freak out."

"Okay..."

"Tugger, we've been friends forever, and I've realized something. I'm closer to you than I've ever been with anyone else. But I've also noticed something else. My feelings aren't lying towards queens like they should be. I guess what I'm trying to say is I love you."

He laughed. "Good joke. Now what did you really want to say?"

"I just told you."

He started to freak out. "You're joking, right?"

"Sorry."

"Get away from me you little queer."

"But..." I pleaded with him.

"As far as I'm concerned I don't know you anymore. You're dead to me."

"I'm sorry!"

"Good-bye." His voice was cold as ice.

I threw myself on the floor of the cold metal pipe and cried. My heart was shattered into hundreds of jagged little pieces. It hurt. It just hurt.

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I woke up the next morning, a dull ache where my heart used to be, anddragged myself out of the pipe and into the clearing. Big mistake... Old Deuteronomy had just held a meeting and everyone was there.

"Oh my god! Misto! Are you all right?" About twenty heads turned in my direction.

"Hi Munkustrap. No, I'm not okay. And I won't ever be again."

"What happened? Were you crying? Who did it? Can I beat them up? Was it Macavity?"

"I can't tell you. Yes I was crying. Tugger. No. And it didn't involve Macavity. I just came here for some water."

"Okay."

I went to the water barrel and weakly took a few laps of water. Then I went to my den.

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Dozens of cats now watched Munk go after Tugger.

"Tugger what the hell did you do to Mistoffelees?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Munkustrap picked Tugger up by the ruff.

"Tell me ... now."

"Mist wanted me to keep it a secret."

Munkustrap growled.

"All right All right. He's in love."

Munk sat Tugger down, and his voice softened. "What? With who?"

"Apparently me."

"Tell me what happened."

"I was taking a walk last night. He was talking to Demi then Demi ran away."

"Demeter what do you two usually talk about?"

"Over the past couple of weeks: suicide."

"Oh god. I have to see if he's okay. Stay here."

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(Munk's POV)

I love him dearly.I don't know what I'll do if he's hurt himself. If he has Tugger better watch out. I walked into his den and noticed how quiet it was.

"Mistoffelees? Mist this isn't funny. Are you in here?" I found my answer lying in the center of the room on some rags. There he was or what was left of him. His body was limp and drenched in blood. A pencil was in his hand and a note by his feet… I picked up the tear stained scrap of paper and read it.

Tugger,  
I loved you. I knew you couldn't return my feelings, but Demi encouraged me. She gave me faith. I got to hoping, dreaming, praying that you might love me too, but that final look you gave me after we talked told me everything I needed to know. So goodbye. I guess I really am dead to you now.

"Mistoffelees, how could you be so stupid? There was always someone else that loved you ... me. I loved you and you could never see."

I placed a gentle kiss to his lips and rocked his limp form back and forth. I felt wetness on my cheeks. I was ... crying? I've never cried before. I guess I've never had a reason to. I picked up his body and the note and started walking towards the clearing.

"Here" I choked and handed the note to Tugger. His face went pale when he saw what else I was carrying. He read through that last note and started to cry as well.

"I never meant for this to happen It's all my fault." He fell to his knees, his body shaking with every sob. "I was shocked when he told me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't believe he loved me. I told him some horrible stuff. I love him. Why couldn't I have figured that out sooner?"  
I knelt down beside him and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Its okay. I know how you feel. You wish you could have been there to hold him, kiss him, and tell him everything would be all right. I know because I loved him too. Guess we were both too late."

Old Deuteronomy walked into the clearing. I walked forward and let him here the words that broke my heart...  
"Mistoffelees is dead."

End

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A/N:

Well that was it. My first fic. Please r and r. If u leave good reviews you get chocolate chip cookies. If u leaves flames they'll be used to burn down Playhouse Disney.

Au revoir mes amis


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